Mental Health Awareness

09/05/2022

Its Mental Health Awareness Week and I had the opportunity to write an article for Lavande Magazine:

Have you ever had the feeling of no energy, as though every minute task is a great battle? Maybe you had a really busy day, and you can’t be bothered to cook. Maybe you think “oh I’ll do that tomorrow”. Imagine feeling like that every second of your life. Having a shower is too great a challenge; the texts on your phone are piling up with messages from your friends asking you to meet up but you don’t have the energy to even send a half-hearted reply; everywhere you look are obstacles and you are just too tired. The thought of having to act like you’re fine makes you feel like crying. You’re at the bottom of a hole with no way out. This is what it feels like having depression.

How can I tell my friends that I can’t meet up? It’s easier to just leave the message for another day. It’s not that you don’t want to meet up or that you don’t love them, it’s just that you don’t have the energy to get out of bed, let alone act like you’re ok. All of your energy is spent doing what is necessary. The guilt of not replying to them creeps in and you feel stupid for not even being able to reply, how much effort does it really take to type out a few words? Too much. They are better off without me; I’d just bring them down. Maybe one day they will stop messaging me? Maybe they will think I ghosted them?

This is depression. It can have a terrible effect on not only you but your friendships and relationships. The lack of replying, the never meeting up. You think one day maybe they will stop bothering to reach out. Why would they when you have been such a terrible friend? This is not and should not be the case. 

I had to cancel some plans with a friend the other day – I explained how I was feeling, and I was so scared that they wouldn’t want to speak to me any more (that’s probably just my anxiety speaking) but they were actually so understanding. They told me to look after myself and put myself first, we could meet up whenever and that they were there if I needed to speak to them.

If you are struggling at the minute and have to let some things slide for the time being, let them. You are the most important thing currently. You need to look after yourself first, then pick up whatever you may have dropped and if you lost some people along the way, they weren’t the best for you. Those who are important will stick around and help you through. Remember to look after yourself first and the rest can wait.

Here at Fall From Grace we want to remove the stigma of Mental Health being something to whisper about. We want to let people know that it is ok to not be ok: its normal. We want to spread the word that mental health is an important part of our overall health. It is not something to be ignored but something to be aware of and look after.

If you are struggling you are not alone. You do not need to hide. You are who you were meant to be and that in itself is beautiful.